Because the Machines Won't Let You... Re-Education Camp

This is my vision of where the machines will be sending us in the future.



http://www.myminilife.com/homes/4490808-machine-reeducation-work-camp

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Because the Machines Won't Let You...

Because the Machines Won’t Let You……



I just spent half my morning trying to get something done that should have been simple. Basically I was trying to sell a couple of tractors to another tractor dealer. Normally this is a no brainer. I go into the computer, I tell it that this other dealer wants the machines, I enter the price we agreed on, I send the transaction, and then the dealer on the other end accepts the transaction. It works great, normally.

Except on Friday afternoon it did not work normally. For some reason it would not let me set the agreed upon price. It would automatically default to the dollar figure I still owed the manufacturer which was significantly less than the agreed price. Obviously I had made some payments on the equipment plus I had some other costs in the tractor such as shipping, final inspection, and assembly.

It would not work Friday and we all know that no one in a large corporation, even a tractor company, can be found on a Friday afternoon. So it didn’t happen on Friday.

Well, Monday morning came and I was in my office at 7am on the phone again. It was 9am back where the people who are supposed to help work so I made a phone call to them to solve the computer problem. They told me it wasn’t a computer problem but a problem with the people in department that handles the transactions. So then I called the people in the department that handle the transactions. They gave me the usual techno-babble which was completely worthless. So then I called the people that help me buy and sell this stuff at the main office for the manufacturer. No answer there to my phone call so I ended up leaving a voice mail which was never returned.

Then I emailed my sales manager for the company that makes the product. He was good and emailed me right back to tell me he had no idea how to fix the problem but gave me the name and number to contact someone who could fix it. I called that person and they had no idea what I was talking about so I print screened the pages from my monitor and faxed them over with an explanation, hand written notes, etc.

She called me back after receiving the fax because she still didn’t understand my problem but at least I could explain it to her over the phone and we were looking at the same thing. Now her response was that she did not know how to fix my problem so she would pass it up the chain. While waiting for a call back, once again, another guy I work with called another guy at yet another dealership who confirmed that the computer system would not do what I wanted it to do but he could not tell me why it couldn't do something that obviously it should be able to do.

A little while later I received a call from a nice sounding woman who told me our conversation was being recorded for “quality assurance purposes” which is a completely meaningless statement. There are simply not enough hard drives to record all the conversations companies have these days that they say are being recorded and frankly the quality gets worse and worse as each year goes by. This leads me to believe that nothing is being recorded expect perhaps funny prank calls they make when they are bored for upload later to YouTube.

Well this woman proceeds to tell me what I already know, that the computer system will not allow me to do what I need to do to sell these two tractors to another dealer who has them sold to another customer. I ask her why it will not allow me to do that. She explains that the computer is programmed that way because it is in the rules. “But why is there this rule that had to be programmed in?” I ask.

She of course has no idea but insists I cannot do it because the computer will not let me. I explain to her that if I cannot do it then the other dealer cannot make the sale and I won’t be in a position to order two new machines from her company to replace the two I sent to the other dealer. Her response, “I understand your frustration sir but the computer will not allow you to do that.”

“Do you realize that your computer is going to cost you the sale of more products?” I asked.

“Sir, I understand your frustration but we don’t program the system.” She replied.

“Ma'am, computers are here to work for us, we don’t work for them. They are supposed to make it easier to do our jobs not stand in the way or make it more difficult. The one thing in life I cannot stand is when we blame the computer for not being able to do something that is simple like this.” My frustration was clearly evident in my tone of voice.

“Well sir, I can pass this information along and perhaps they will make a change in the computer system in the future to allow this.”

“Well thank you. Please do pass that along because this is something important that needs to be changed to allow dealers to make sales.” I tried to hide my sarcasm here but it was tough.

I then thanked her for her time and we hung up. I know fully well that my request to have the information passed along would do nothing. In fact, the whole thing probably ended up in the garbage bin. I doubt if the woman I talked to even knew what the tractors looked like or had even seen one. Her cubicle in the big city probably didn’t even have a view of the window let alone a farm field.

At some point in time the machines took over our lives. I don’t remember when this actually happened but it had to be in the late 90s when I was in college because one of them ate my final thesis requiring me hours of labor to retype it.

Computers tell us what we can and cannot do. We work for them. I cannot tell how many times I’ve been told that something is impossible because the “computer” says no or is not working. My driver’s license says I’m a female. I couldn’t get it fixed because the computer wouldn’t let it get fixed. It still says I weigh 150lbs from when I was 16 years old even though I weigh closer to 220lbs these days. I filled out the paperwork to get it changed at the DMV but when my new driver’s license showed up I was still a buck fifty and a woman. The machines determined it so it must be so.

I got pulled over once for not turning on my lights fast enough at night. I was in a strip mall parking lot where the lights were so bright you could get a tan at midnight. The cop took my driver’s license and asked me if all the information was correct. I told him that it was not and he got concerned. You could see him tense up as if I was going to tell him that it was really my cousin’s license. I watch COPS and the cousin excuse is often used and generally followed by a beating with the night stick or writhing on the floor in pain from a Tazer shot.

The cop then asked me what was wrong with my license and I told him the DMV gave me a sex change. He looked at me then looked at my license. He then looked at me again, tried his best to suppress a snicker, handed me the license back, and told me to “Have a nice evening.” He knew the machines had me beat and took pity on my soul.

The driver’s license reminds me of the time I went to get a new Social Security card. My name is Jason but my new card said Jose with my last name and correct social security number. I never changed my name. I took it into the office and the first thing the person asks is, “Are you sure your name is Jason?” “Well err I don’t exactly remember....”

Yea, the machine struck once again and now I was Jose. They said they would get it fixed and send me a new one. I never got a new one but I found my original card and it did have the correct name on it. I’m still waiting for immigration to show up ready to deport a 150 pound woman named Jose. I hear Mexico is just lovely this time of year in spite of the Swine Flu.

My personal favorite is tech support machine problems especially when it involves the lie known as “trouble shooting”. I love calling in when the satellite for the T.V. isn’t working. For example, some of the channels I pay for every month suddenly stopped working. I called into tech support and they looked up my account in the “machine”. “Well sir, I show that you are signed up for the “Uber Package”. Now which channels are you not getting?”

I then list the channels yet again that are not working. They tell me I should be getting them and ask me if I am sure they are not working. Once again, I’m assumed to be lying because the machine says so. I feel like yelling into the phone, “You got me, I was just waiting a half hour listening to elevator music just to jerk your chain about my channels being out! Did you enjoy my little joke as much as I did?”

So then I go through a dozen different gyrations and still no channels. “Are you sure?” They ask again because the machine said that if we do X, Y, and Z it will fix the problem. “Yea, I’m pretty sure it’s not working still.”

Then in exasperation they tell me that someone will have to come out and take a look at it and that I will be charged X number of dollars for the service visit even after I insist that it has been like this on and off since they installed it and that I have called over and over about the problem. In frustration I hang up and go on the roof and find that the installer only put two bolts on the satellite mounting plate instead of four as required. Every time the wind comes up it shakes and I lose channels. I fixed the problem myself, a problem the machine insisted I didn’t have.

At some point we have to ask ourselves, “Will we be slaves to the machines?” Is it inevitable that they will take over? Will John Conner be the hope for the future and our battle against the machines? Will we be forced to fight in a post apocalyptic wasteland against the machines or is it already too late? Have we already lost the battle with the machines?

What a difference a couple decades makes...

A guy posted this on a hunting forum I frequent. I can't believe how right on it is.

SCHOOL -- ANYTIME BEFORE 1989 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
Before 1989 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.



Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
Before 1989 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.



Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
Before 1989 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
Before 1989 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.



Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
Before 1989 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
Before 1989 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
Before 1989 - Ants die.
2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
Before 1989 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Steven Crowder on Gun Control

This guy is pretty talented!