Some have stated that they do not believe that Cage is a vampire but I believe that the photo from the 1800s is actually Nicholas Cage, vampire or not. Perhaps he is just some sort of weird creature that rejuvinates after reaching a certain age who then blends back into society. For years I've believed that some celebrities such as Cher had supernatural abilities. Just look at Cher and tell me that something isn't quite right there.
My theory became even more real when I was watching a History Channel special on the 3rd Reich SS, Hitler's sinister special group of madmen. As I watched this special I was suddenly shocked to see a picture of actor Christopher Gorham, a native of nearby Fresno, CA. Gorham currently is a regular cast member of the USA Network's show "Covert Affairs" and was the lead actor in "The Other Side of Heaven" portraying LDS missionary John Groberg! Christophr Gorham Wikipedia Entry In the History Channel special his picture was shown in full SS dress uniform!!! I nearly fell out of my seat and yelled, "That's Augie from Covert Affairs!!!!"
So Nicholas Cage, Cher, and Christopher Gorham are all much, much older than we thought! Are they vampires? Well I think most have been out in the sunlight although with Cher it is hard to tell if she ever has been in the sun. In her music video If I Could Turn Back Time the sailors seem oddly messmerized by the old lady and the video is shot at night. Both could be signs that she is something more than normal. Perhaps there are multiple supernatural things at work here. Maybe she's a vampire but Cage and Gorham are just immortal.
I always thought Elvira Mistress of the Night was a vampire. Maralyn Manson looks like one too. And when I say vampire I don't mean the friendly ones that sparkle like in that horrible book series. Conservative celebrity Ann Coulter looks a little creepy as well. Perhaps she's a vampire. Michael Jackson gave me the willies long after Thriller came on the scene. And what about all those Elvis sightings over the years since is "alleged" death. Carrot Top is also kind of creepy in an undead sort of way and Christopher Walken just scares me sometime. Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones used enough drugs that he should have died long ago if not for some supernatural help. Steven Tyler from Aerosmith looks kind of like a walking corpse too! Phyllis Diller is still around and that lady is way, way old!
The real question we need to ask is if the rest of us normal, non supernatural types are in any danger from the living dead celebrities. Do they crave human flesh or just attention? Does their supernatural ability to live long after they should have died upset the natural balance on our planet. These are all questions we must answer. Only with these answers will we know for sure whether we need to purchase torches and pitchforks!
