Stake Adult Dance

My apologies if you are over 50 and get a little miffed when you read this latest blog entry.

Recently our stake held it's annual Mormon Prom for the youth. They put a lot of effort into decorating and making this a great, safe event without all the grunge and smut found at the high school prom. I think it is a great idea because all that is required is standard church dress so it can save the teens a lot of money by not having to buy or rent a tux or buy a fancy dress. Some youth still elect to do this but the pressure isn't there to do the princess bit making it more accessible for the youth who may not be Doogie Howser and already have a high paying job.

I think it is a wonderful idea holding an LDS Prom. I personally did not go to Prom, Winter Formal, or any other dance in high school simply because of the cost. I was one of the few kids that did have a nice summer job and living on the farm made money on 4-H projects and other odd jobs around the place. So if I wanted to I could certainly afford to go but the thought of blowing that much money on one night on some girl I would probably not end up marrying seemed a bit ridiculous.

That is not to say that I did not go to dances at all. I went to nearly every stake dance and many in the neighboring stake. I also attended dances for youth conference and went to dances at the Especially For Youth Program at BYU back in the day when they had a dance every night but one during the week. And back then we actually danced something the youth at the stake dances did not do much of when I was young men's president recently and attended a stake dance as a chaperon.

So I like dances and don't mind going but the Stake came up with the brilliant idea of re-using the LDS Prom decorations to host an "adult" dance the following week. I guess someone in their infinite wisdom thought that the countless hours spent putting the decorations up would be wasted on just the four hour prom so why not have an adult dance for everyone in the stake to get more use out of the decorations or at least show off some one's talent for making them.

On the surface this sounded like a good idea until you consider that the age range for the "adult" dance is from age 18 to 65, a swing of about 47 years in music tastes and dance styles. To be honest, it is difficult enough for the Elder's Quorum and High Priest Group to meet together on Sundays due to the age gap. It's also a fire hazard to have that many oxygen bottles and walkers clogging routes to the emergency exits.

So from the beginning there has been some problem selling the whole concept, particularly to the younger crowd. When the announcement came that they would be teaching the attendees to do the waltz and fox trot all heck broke loose as manly men from the 70's, 80's, 90's and today said, "No way am I spending my Friday night dancing to old people music and learning to dance when there is perfectly good television on or hunting to be done in the mountains."

My wife had her temple recommend interview with a member of the Stake Presidency on Sunday and got some not so subtle pressure to attend and to encourage me to attend this event, a definite borderline misuse of priesthood authority in my opinion but I think I will let it slide in this case! LOL!

Then on Monday the mass email came into my box from a sister in the ward trying to get the word out about this great event. The flyer alone smelled of ben gay and death which is surprising since it came through the computer's email system. You can never really get rid of that smell!!!! I could not hold back any longer and sent my email reply immediately, the text of which I am copying below:

"Yea...... you and Adam have a great time!! I don't want to do the waltz, cha cha, swing, or Danse Macabre, mainly because I'm not over 50. Plus hanging out with all the old people in the stake is dangerous, someone could break a hip. I don't think they will be playing any Firehouse, Whitesnake, Zeplin, Erasure, Tears for Fears, AC DC, Shakira, Hendrix, Black Eyed Peas, etc and I cannot handle that much Perry Como, Dean Martin, Sinatra, and the crew. I'd pass it along but I think my email filter would kick it out due to the musty smell of old people that will be attached to the email.

Then at the end of the night the poor unfortunate under 40s who show up will have to put everything away and clean up!

I think I will save my precious one night out a month with the wife for something that won't make me long for the sweet embrace of death!

Have a good one! LOL!!!!"

So I'll not be attending this stake event. I think I would rather have a tooth pulled! To those who want to go, all I can do is say, "Break a leg or at least a hip!"

Now excuse me while I pull up some Whitesnake on Youtube!