Taking the wife on a cruise....

I'm not really big on cruise ships. I guess I've watched way to many movies where cruise ships were sunk by submarines. But I've found a cruise package that really appeals to me. All the activities are exactly what I am looking for. Here's the link if you are interested. http://maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com/archives/11581-Luxury-Pirate-Hunting-Cruise.html

Kamikaze Salesmen

You know that times must be tough when the cold calling salesman get really tricky in order to get a few minutes to sell their wares. Business owners and executives are bombarded daily with phone calls, personal visits, and junk mail from crafty salespeople wanting to get their business. If you have ever tried to get a hold of a business owner or executive for a legitimate reason but experienced having to run a gauntlet to get through, then you have probably fallen victim to the elaborate web of safeguards put into place to make sure the fly by night sales people don’t get through and take up the boss’s precious time. My personal friends have been surprised at how difficult it is to get me on the phone at my place of business. My call screeners are that good.

But the shady salespeople are not easily deterred. One of the oldest tricks in the book is to pretend they are the good buddy of the guy they are trying to call on the phone. They will use only first names and shorten them. Steven is Steve, William is Bill or Bob, David is Dave, etc. This is to trick the secretary into thinking it is one of the boss’s golf buddies looking to change their tee time. Good secretaries or administrative assistants learn quickly the names of the boss’s real friends and sniff out the imposters.

When the sales person does get through to the boss they then proceed to tell you the first bald face lie. They say they are going to be in your town meeting other business owners about whatever they are trying to sell and ask if they could meet with you also. I know this is a bald face lie because in our town there is our business, the volunteer fire station, the auto parts store, and a couple mini marts. You cannot even buy gasoline here. At this point I generally like to ask which businesses in our town they have appointments with. This is when they will usually give you some bull about their clients wanting to remain confidential.

The really bold ones though will research your competitors and say that they are going to be in your area meeting with companies X, Y, and Z about their product or service and that they would like to set up an appointment to also meet with you. At which point I will ask them who they are meeting with at Company X because I know the management at all three of those companies. Then they either pull the lie that they don’t have their complete list with them right then or the really brazen ones actually know the name of the owner and throw that out there. I like to tell them that I will call that person and see what they think about the product or service. This generally chases them away.

But for some the tough economic times have forced them into what I like to term as Kamikaze Sales Calls. Basically the sales person shows up claiming they have an appointment with the boss. The secretary checks the calendar and tells them that she does not show an appointment. The Kamikaze Sales Person tells the secretary that his head office set up the appointment. The next thing he says is also an outright lie but it gets your sympathy. They like to say that they drove from (insert popular town at least three hour drive away). This way you feel bad for them wasting a total of six hours driving on a wild goose chase. The secretary will usually call the boss in his office at this point and tell him about the guy. The boss will come out and also claim that no appointment was made. The sales guy then offers his sob story about traveling so far and ask if he could possibly have just five minutes to run through his abbreviated presentation so that he can at least report back to his boss that he didn’t completely waste the day.

Once again it is all a lie because that five minutes turns into about half an hour. They got their sales pitch in without an appointment and were able to bypass all the gatekeepers the boss set up to make sure that these sales people didn’t bother him all day. The really brazen liars will actually get their own sales manager on the phone during the five minute mini presentation. He will explain the alleged snafu with the appointment to the boss and then the sales manager will get in on the action of also trying to sell to the unsuspecting business owner or executive.

I think in most cases the Kamikaze Salesman would get away with this if the business only saw this scam every few years. But in these desperate times we have seen it happen twice in the last couple months. The second salesman was incensed that we were accusing her of not really having an appointment. Her false indignation was almost laughable. She then had the nerve to call back a few days later to follow up on her “meeting” with the boss. When she was told by the secretary that the meeting never happened she claimed she had the notes to prove that it did happen!

I know that being in sales is tough especially when they are trying to get in to see the decision maker but this sort of aggressive tactic does nothing to help them make a sale unless the person they are talking to is a complete idiot. Most people can sense when something isn’t right about the salesman’s story.

The real way to break them of the lie is to ask them for business references from your area, real people that you can contact and ask what their experience was. Usually they will say something about protecting their clients’ anonymity. Then ask them if they seriously are saying they have no clients in the area that are willing to be used as a reference. Realizing their mistake they quickly say that they will get the list faxed or emailed over. Surprise! The list never arrives.

So to all you sales people out there that insist on telling lies to get my business, realize that you will never get one penny from me. If you are willing to lie to get in the door, then I can only assume you are willing to lie to complete the sale and lie even after I am one of your clients.

Gun Control is Racist?

I had never heard this before but after watching this video I was convinced. I had learned a few years back how law abiding African Americans had utilized firearms to protect themselves during the civil rights era but this two part video opened my eyes.

Part 1:


Part 2:


I think next time someone starts pushing more gun control, I'll ask them how they feel about being a racist! The source for this video is this organization: http://www.jpfo.org/filegen-a-m/movieplay-ngn-swf.htm You can also view the video there without having to watch it in two parts

New Motivational Posters

Made these two motivational posters I thought I would share. Enjoy!

And just where do you think that Big Mac Came From?

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. If it's meat some animal had to die. That's just life. I was reminded of the old saying when it comes to bacon and eggs for breakfast the chicken participates but the pig is committed.

Up until about 50 years ago, nearly every American child either grew up on a farm or spent some time on one because they had a close relative who was a farmer. They understood where their food and fiber comes from. Now most people get their food at the grocery store and have no clue where it comes from. They demand laws to make sure the animals that make up their food supply are free range and "happy" out of some guilt complex because they are too chicken (pardon the pun) to spend a day actually figuring out where those chicken nuggets come from.

People eat meat and there is nothing wrong with that. I do find it hypocritical though when someone says they are against hunting and want it outlawed while scarfing down another extra beefy burrito.

I find it extra disconcerting during these perilous economic times. During the great depression, most folks still lived on farms and even though they had almost no money, they had food to eat. What happens now if the unemployement reaches the depression levels? Could folks bring themselves to take the life of an animal to feed their family or would they sit by and let them starve?

The Bishop Sold Me Out

Well this last Friday and Saturday was the annual Fathers and Sons Campout. It is an annual tradition that I thoroughly enjoy. The dads get to sit around the campfire while the boys run around making mischief.

Men need their time in the woods playing with fire, knives, and other dangerous things without a responsible woman hanging over their shoulder asking too many questions about safety and responsibility. Most of they younger boys actually de-evolve for the two days and go back to being feral much like the boy with the boomerang in the Mel Gibson movie The Road Warrior.

So a good bit of mischief is had by all. One of the unwritten rules of the Father and Sons is that what happens on the Father and Sons campout, stays on the the Father and Sons Campout. Hence my charge that the Bishop broke the circle of trust.

At one point on day one we decided to drive down to the beach. A couple father's and sons jumped in the back of my pickup. As the we were off the highway I didn't think much about it but I made sure to buckle my own boys up. I do want to add that one of the passengers happened to be the bishop and his own son who is almost two.

So we get all the way to the beach and we are getting out of the car. I asked my oldest son to get his brother out. Next thing I know the fathers and sons are scattering to the wind. The ranger showed up and decided to give me the fifth degree about having the people in the back of the truck. I'm looking around and thinking to myself, "What people, they've all fled while I take the heat." Thankfully he just let me off with a motivational speach, motivating me to not do it again under the threat of a ticket.

So I start to walk to where everyone else is at the beach and ask my oldest boy where his brother is. He gives me this dumb kid look that says, "Brother? I have a brother?" Great, so I quickly look around and determine he isn't there. In the back of my mind I suspect he didn't let his brother out of the car after all. A buddy joined me as we walked back less than 100 yards to the truck. I probably was only away from the vehicle for a minute or two.

I got to the truck and he's just sleeping away. No harm nor fuss. I scoop him up and lay him on my brother's jacket at the beach. Now I immediately ask the guys that we not speak of this again because this is one of those things that can get a dad in some hot water with mamma. Everyone seemed to agree and the circle of trust was formed. My friend who had accompanied me back to the car even commented that if word got out he somehow would get blamed by his wife too!

So all is well for the rest of the trip. No stitches required, no broken bones, lots of things burned in the fire, etc. I get home and the boys have had a great time. I had no concerns about my oldest boy spilling the beans because he was so caught up in the fun that he forgot about it as fast as it happened. The younger boy who was left in the car slept through the whole thing and besides, he is just under two so what is he going to say.

I decide that I will tell my wife in a couple of years when the boys are older. No need to tell her that the baby of the family was neglected and daddy almost got tazed by the state park ranger. But at church the next day I was a bit worried. Would the circle of trust be broken? Fortunately, everyone kept quiet. I was in the clear until.....

I got home from work on Monday and started getting the third degree from my wife about child neglect, CPS, going to jail, blah, blah, blah. I tuned out part of what she said out of habit but I could not believe that someone had broken the circle of trust!!! I immediately asked who broke the circle of trust and she would not tell. There was only one solution. I went to my two oldest girls and told them that the first person to tell would get a dollar. The oldest was slightly faster on the draw. It was the best dollar I ever spent. What they didn't realize is that I would have paid five bucks for the info.

Turns out the bishop told his wife who told my wife. Of course when my wife heard the story I was being grilled by the cop for the wreckless danger I put people in, nearly pepper spayed, my kids were in the back of the pickup in harms way, the bishop and his son were somehow left out of the back of the truck and just innocent observers, and I left my kid in the car a half mile away for ten minutes and was just lucky the cop didn't see me do it.

Now my wife has one more thing to remind me about for the rest of eternity. Thanks bishop. I thought you were supposed to help people. You will pay for this, I promise!!!!!

Security System

In these troubling times we often wonder how we can protect ourselves and our families from the evils of the world. While I am always a strong proponent of firearms and self defense, often we find ourselves in need of defense of a spiritual nature that only the Lord can provide. I was reminded of this the other night while attending a fireside with my teenage daughter. The speaker was a woman who is LDS and a former Miss California. She related a story of when she was young and was put into a position where someone wanted her to compromise her standards. She prayed for help and a way was found for her to maintain her standards.

This reminded me of when I was in college about 10 years ago. As a part of my quest for a degree I had to take two upper division electives in something unrelated to my major. The two electives had to be related to each other though. Originally I had wanted to take one of the several options on religion that were listed but due to budget cuts these had been cancelled. I also wanted to avoid any of the options regarding ethnic studies because in the state owned school I was in, these often turned into opportunities to say very vile things about people of other races, particularly whites.

Finally I settled on a set of classes. One was Adolescent Psychology. I had always enjoyed my general education psychology class and figured this one would just build on that. It was a pretty good class that I did enjoy quite a bit. The second class of the set that I took the following semester was Juvenile Delinquency. I figured this might not be too bad as it fit well with the previous class I had taken.

This turned out to be a very difficult class. I quickly learned that there was little difference between the crimes committed by some juveniles and some adults other than the ages of the perpetrators. Any horror that an adult was capable of, so was a juvenile. It was quite an eye opening experience and I quickly saw how good parenting makes such a big difference. I also learned why gang bangers are all kids, they are either dead by the time they reach adulthood or spending the rest of their lives in prison. Basically, the class became a study of how many modern day Gadiantons operate.

The instructor for the class had a PHD in criminology. She was tough as nails and had worked throughout the prison system for the state. She was a consultant for both state and federal prisons. The things she had seen were horrible. She had very high expectations for our performance in her classroom even though she knew most of us were not criminology majors. Her essay exams were particularly intense. In spite of the difficulty, I enjoyed the challenge and was doing quite well. Her comments on my reports and essays were very good and I felt confident I was doing well in the class.

When the final report was announced I could not believe what we were supposed to do. We were to watch a Hollywood movie that had as it's subject Juvenile Delinquency. Then we were to write a report on the movie describing how certain behaviors or scenes in the movie related to the several theories on delinquency that we had studied.

Unfortunately, most of the films that deal with this subject are rated R. They are horrible films about gangs such as Boyz in the Hood, Colors, etc. To make matters worse, when suggesting films to use she had told how a woman in one of her classes had used the Disney classic Pinocchio and done an excellent report. She then followed up this comment with a warning of how she did not want another report on Pinocchio again.

Immediately my heart sank. I did not want to compromise my standards. My spiritual defense and indeed the best defense we have is to keep our lives as clean as possible so that we can be receptive to the Spirit. I had been serving as a Stake Missionary at this time and relied heavily on the influence of the Spirit to do the calling.

I went home that day depressed. I expressed my concerns first with my wife who understood my frustration but could offer no solution. I knew that talking to the instructor would be pointless. She was as hard as flint when it came to this subject. She did not budge. I desperately did not want to compromise my standards and poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father for assistance. I had come to rely on my Heavenly Father throughout my college experience. I studied hard but prayed hard for the assistance I needed. I prayed at home, in my car, and even in the school library. I know it made all the difference.

I prayed several times over the next few weeks for a way. I pleaded for some way that I could fulfill the assignment without compromising my standards. All I could think about was how easy it would have been if Pinocchio had not been taken off the table. I grew sad thinking I might have no choice but to watch some vile film. I wondered if there was a way to get an edited version of one of the films that would meet the requirement.

One night as my wife and I were watching television a commercial came on. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was either for a musical that was playing in theater in the city, one that was appearing on television in movie form, or it was a commercial where a tune from one of these musicals was used to sell a product. I wasn't really paying attention but the distinct impression came to me at that moment to ask my wife about a musical I had never seen and one which I didn't even know the plot of.

I looked over at my wife and asked her, "What is West Side Story about?" Her eyes got big and she went on to describe gang fights between the Sharks and Jets, forbidden love, racial strife, etc. We had found the answer to my prayers through the inspiration of the Spirit.

We rented the movie and the report was written shortly thereafter. I received an A for that report and great comments from the instructor. The Lord had helped me find a way to maintain my standards but still fulfill the requirement. I still have a copy of that report somewhere at home. It is one of the few from college I kept a copy of. I value it not so much for the grade but for the tangible evidence it is to me that the Lord does hear and answer our prayers. He will help us in our spiritual defense, as long as we are willing to maintain that defense.

Adversity

I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. I was watching Band of Brothers on the History Channel. If you have never seen Band of Brothers it is a mini series that follows the story of an American Army unit in the 82 Airborne called Easy Company. It starts with their training and goes through the entire campaign in Europe. In between segments they have actual interviews from the guys that were really there. The characters names and the stories are all based on the real events. It is by far one of the best produced military movies I have ever seen. It makes Saving Private Ryan look like amature hour but doesn't splatter gallons of blood on the camera lens. Aside from Saints and Soldiers, it is the best WWII movie out there.

But back to my point. As I watched the struggles the soldiers endured, physical, mental and spiritual, I was amazed at how they pushed on. The soldier's story throughout history can be inspiring. Another soldier's story that has often inspired me is that of the last Nephite, Moroni. Moroni was forced to spend his last days watching what was left of his nation be destroyed while hiding for his life. He was alone and hunted by his enemies without rest. His words came forth in the latter days through the translation of his writings by Joseph Smith.

Another group that faced adversity was the pioneers who came out of Illinois. They were driven out because of their religion. Many died on route. I've heard that if you evenly spaced out the graves between Nauvoo, Ill. and Salt Lake City Utah that you would always be in sight of a grave on the entire route. They also suffered extremes of temperature, sickness, physical pain, and hardship but they did not falter.

In comparison, my troubles seem trivial. Shortly before having this epiphany, I had received a letter from a government agency. Seems a former, disgruntled employee had made several claims about our business. None of them were true but in the modern age, we are all guilty until proven innocent. I was upset about the false charges but particularly upset about the hours of work I would have to put in and all the evidence of our innocence that I would have to gather to send them to prove that the disgruntled employee was wrong. I was feeling sorry for myself and moaning about how I was being picked on. After my Band of Brothers epiphany though, I realized that my immediate trial was pretty trivial and would be worked out in the next week or so. It put the whole situation back into perspective.

As I faced other challenges later that week, that normally would have upset me quite a bit, I remembered the men of Easy Company in the forests of the Ardene, struggling in the cold of winter for our freedoms. I thought of the pioneers who fought to carve out a land where they could truly have religious freedom. Amazingly, my problems melted away and were replaced by resolve and determination to not submit, but to fight on as those who came before us did. Suddenly, a new day has dawned.