Second Hand Stuff

Well we have a second hand television, a second hand couch, second hand kitchen table, and most of our clothes are second hand.  We take great pride in our second hand household items.  Especially in this economy it's good to have the attitude that second hand is a great way to go.  It saves money and is less wasteful.  Second hand was the original eco friendly recycling model!

So what else could we get second hand?

How about a second hand dog?  I think he prefers the term "Previously Owned".

A guy in our ward was moving due to his employment situation.  He needed a good home for this fella that he has had since he was a puppy.  His name is Kirby and Anne likes to call him Kirby the Wonder Puppy.  He is older but in great shape, not too many miles on him.  Part Beagle and part Dachshund which means that this one of Snoopy's cousins may have flown for the Germans!  LOL!  He has a super sweet disposition and is great with the kids.  He has a lot of energy which means the kids can chase him around all day long.  After we lost our two Scotties to old age this last year I was reluctant to get a new dog but this "previously owned pup" seems to be a winner.

Plus he seems to have some training.  One of the kids told him to sit for the picture and he did!  So a big welcome to Kirby the Wonder Dog.

Ignorance and Want

Ignorance and Want


The Christmas Season is upon us and one of my favorite annual traditions is reading the original Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. In addition to reading the famous short story, I also try and re-watch nearly every version of the tale I can find on the television. My favorite version is the Patrick Stewart/TNT version. This timeless tale helps put me in the right mood for the season and provides focus to what can otherwise be a hectic time of the year. As I was reading the tale this year I came across a part of the story where Scrooge is solicited for donations for the poor that struck me differently than in previous readings. I have quoted below:

Scrooge and Marley's, I believe," said one of the gentlemen, referring to his list. "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?"

"Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years," Scrooge replied. "He died seven years ago, this very night."

"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner," said the gentleman, presenting his credentials.

It certainly was; for they had been two kindred spirits. At the ominous word "liberality," Scrooge frowned, and shook his head, and handed the credentials back.

"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge," said the gentleman, taking up a pen, "it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and Destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."

"Are there no prisons?" asked Scrooge.

"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

"And the Union workhouses?" demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in operation?"

"They are. Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were not."

"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?" said Scrooge.

"Both very busy, sir."

"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course," said Scrooge. "I'm very glad to hear it."

"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude," returned the gentleman, "a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?"

"Nothing!" Scrooge replied.

"You wish to be anonymous?"

"I wish to be left alone," said Scrooge. "Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned -- they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there."

"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."

"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides -- excuse me -- I don't know that."

"But you might know it," observed the gentleman.

"It's not my business," Scrooge returned. "It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen!" --A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

As I re-read this section I noticed this exchange differently than before. Charles Dickens used his writing as a social commentary on the ills he saw in the industrialized Europe of the 19th century. The author experienced the hardships first hand. Due to financial problems in his own family, he was forced as a boy to work in a factory undergoing the horrible conditions that often accompanied child labor.

Those unable to pay their debts were thrown into prison until the debts were paid in full. Often, the families lived with them in prison and worked during the day in order to pay off the debt. Orphanages were not much better than slave labor camps. Death was often more preferable than the use of the horrible social safety nets of the time.

My previous readings of this and also my knowledge of Dickens other works led me to see this section of the story as a commentary on the conditions of those options for the poor of 19th century England with the intent to show the heartlessness of the various Scrooges around who would rather see the poor suffer than donate a little of their means during the Christmas season.

This time I thought it might be a condemnation of Scrooge’s expectation, and that of his contemporaries of the period, that the responsibility to the poor and downtrodden should be taken care of by government through tax funded institutions. If we can interpret the debtor’s prisons and tax supported union work houses as government run institutions for the poor, which they certainly were, then is it not also a condemnation of the view by many in Victorian times of the expectation that the government should take care of the poor? In learning about the poor laws and work houses of Victorian England it is evident that these government “solutions” to the problem of the poor were not much better than death itself!! Indeed, it appears that Dickens utilizes this idea later in Scrooge’s conversation with the Ghost of Christmas Present about the children named Ignorance and Want.

'Have they no refuge or resource.' cried Scrooge.

'Are there no prisons.' said the Spirit, turning on him


for the last time with his own words. 'Are there no workhouses.'

Here we see Dickens punching home the idea once again. Here Scrooge is asking if there is resource for the poor children when instead he should have been asking what he could do.

As a part of Scrooge’s transformation he comes to realize that not only does he have the means to help others but also that he personally has a responsibility. The idea that his decisions and actions are responsible for the suffering of others hits full force when he asks the ghost what will happen to Tiny Tim in the future. Scrooge comes to realize that his sin is not only being miserly and mean but that he expects the government to take care of the poor.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ we are given a specific charge to take care of the poor. This explains why the church has programs such as fast offering assistance, humanitarian aid, welfare square, and a host of other programs. But we can fall into the same trap as Scrooge if we come to expect that these programs alone absolve us of our responsibility to our fellow man. How are we any better if we pass by a person suffering and say to ourselves, “Well I gave on Sunday so I have done my duty!”

That is not to say supporting those programs is a bad thing but we can always do more. We can donate of our time to lift the spirits of those suffering, serve them, and/or a myriad of other acts that show Christ-like love for them.

In Mathew 24:34-40 we read:

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:


35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:


36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.


37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?


38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?


39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?


40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

In order for us to truly serve others as the Savior would, we must come to realize that it is our responsibility, not the governments to care for them. At this time of year when we celebrate His birth, let us remember those around us who are poor in spirit or substance and endeavor to show them the gift of the Savior’s love.

Alien Early Warning System?

Voice of America Delano, CA Photo By Bobak Ha'Eri cc-BY-SA-205

Sometimes I drive by stuff and wonder, "What the heck is that!!!"

I was driving with my wife down to the Wool Growers resturant in Bakersfield a few months back and as we cut over off Hwy 43 to Delano we started passing what appears to be miles of strange looking antennas and large buildings in the middle of farm land.  My wife asked what it all was and I was clueless.  I told her that it was probably some old Cold War era facility for radar or some such thing.  It was all fenced off with signs warning people not to enter.

I didn't think much of it until a read an article and saw some pictures about an installation in Russia just outside the world famous Chernobyl called by Amature Radio Operators "The Russian Woodpecker"  Woodpecker Link.  It was a cold war radar facility that caused havoc to radios and even people's television sets here in the U.S.  The Soviets denied it's existence during the war.  Amature radio operators tried jamming it because it caused them so much interference and eventually it was shut down when the old Soviet Union went away.  There are some cool pictures online of this facility.

So I read this story and thought, perhaps the site near Delano was something similar for the U.S. and soon forgot about it.  Then on Sunday I was listening to a couple guys talk on one of the amature radio repeaters in the area and they talked about the antennas in Delano.  One guy had taken a tour and mentioned how it had shut down.  I overheard this conversation about part way through and didn't get all the details, but it peaked my curiosity once again.

So I did a google search and found it.  The Delano facility isn't a Cold War Radar installation, a mind control facility, or even a monitoring station for aliens.  It is the former site of the Voice of America radio transmissions.  Originally it was constructed at the beginning of WWII as a short wave radio broadcasting facility for the U.S. to get out our message to people around the world and to also provide broadcast radio for the GIs in the Pacific Theater.  Everyone remembers Tokyo Rose spouting off dribble in all the war movies, well the U.S. had it's own voice going out all over the world telling the allied side of the story.

Later the facility continued broadcasting from the U.S. through the cold war for the Voice of America.  In October 2007, after 23,000 consecutive days of broadcasting it went silent, the last such facility like it to finally shut down in the U.S.  The age of Satelites had come.  The facility is still powered to keep the lights on all the towers which could be a navigation hazard to small planes if it was completely dark.  I wish I had known about it a few years back and had taken one of the tours.  It must have been an amazing place.  There is a nice historical article here:  VOA Delano

This site has some interior pictures from a tour some guys took:  Tour

And last but not least, a Youtube video about the old girl.  Youtube Video of VOA Delano

The video comes off a bit like propaganda for saving the facility but it gives some interesting history of the facility.  About the only other thing Delano is remembered for is the UFW strikes by Cesar Chavez which are also briefly mentioned in the video.

It was nice to see this bit of history if only from the outside and then to learn exactly what it is.  So if you see something by the side of the road, do some research and you just might learn a little more about History.

Shortwave broadcasts are still alive and well outside the U.S.  Ham Radio operators share part of the 40 Meter Band with foreign short wave broadcast stations.  I listened to one in English out of Romania last friday night as it played news and music.  But the Shortwave radio stations are just about gone, relegated to more exotic parts of our globe but still reaching out far and wide with their signals.

Hogwarts Musical

A few months back I was asked to do the script for the Ward Road Show.  We decided to merge High School Musical and Harry Potter for Hogwarts Musical.  The requirements were that each ward only had 10 minutes and we had to cover a theme from the For the Strength of Youth Pamphlet.  I think ours turned out really well.  Unfortunately, the stake did not have a sound system other than two microphones which were sorely inadequate for a Stake Center with over 400 audience members.  We were only half way back in the crowd and couldn't hear anything.  I was a bit upset afterwards at not getting to finally see and hear my "baby" performed.  Fortunately, the Bishop decided to have them re-perform it for the ward before the Trunk or Treat this Saturday so I'll be able to see it finally.  I kept the script hush-hush before the performance but here it is below now that they have already performed for the stake.

I would like to commend the young men and young women from the ward.  They did a great job.  Their dance routine was great.  One of the young women brought a young man from school to portray Troy and he looked the part and did an excellent job.  The sets and costumes were also very well done.  Their leaders and the ward road show coordinators should be commended for doing such a great job helping to put the show together.  I can't wait to see it (and hear it) on Saturday.

Hogwarts Musical


The set: I imagine something of a divided set. One side is left dark while the other is in use. On the right side we have Bishop Dumbldore’s office where the Hogwarts Youth Counsel is taking place. On the left, divided by a curtain or moveable wall is where the three flashback sequences will take place.

Opening

(Begin with the Harry Potter Music Box Theme) If someone can play this on a keyboard with a music box sound it might be fun to play it slightly off key as if to foreshadow that things are not quite right with this skit.

Deep Voice Over Begins: We now join Bishop Dumbledore and the Hogwarts Youth Counsel.

Light slowly comes up and illuminates the Bishop’s office where are seated eight youth around his desk. The four Hogwarts youth, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood along with Bishop Dumbledoor are wearing traditional Hogwarts robes/uniforms. The four others are wearing clothes from the characters of High School Musical.

Bishop Dumbledore: Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna it is good to see you back at Hogwarts this term. I would like you to meet our two new exchange students from East High, Gabriella Montaz, Troy Bolton, Sharpay Evans, and Kelsi Nielson.

Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay, and Kelsi (dressed in outfits they wore in the original high school musical and looking hyperactive)get up and start singing the primary “Hello” song. They are shaking each-others hands and over acting like they are playing to an audience that isn’t really there. Perhaps Sharpay could be using a tambourine that she produces from nowhere and Kelsi could have a super small portable toy keyboard that she starts playing. The other Hogwarts students look at them like they are crazy.

Bishop Dumbledoor interrupts them by clearing his throat.


Bishop Dumbledoor: Please sit down. I see our group is one short. Has anyone seen Brother Potter?

Ron Weasley looking sad: Bishop, that’s one of the things we wanted to talk to you about. Harry’s gone a bit off the rails.

Bishop Dumbledoor: What do you mean?

Hermione: Well you see Bishop, Harry has been acting strange lately, making some bad choices and we don’t know what to do. His head just isn’t in his school work or on the gospel.

Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay, and Kelsi Begin singing “Get Your Head in the Game”
Lyrics from “Get Your Head in the Game” from High School Musical:
Just keep you head in the game
You gotta get your head in the game
We gotta get our, get our, get our get our head in the game
You gotta get your, get your head in the game
We gotta get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game
You gotta get your, get your head in the game
We gotta get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game


Bishop Dumbledoor: (Bishop cuts off their singing) Please, sit down. We need to focus on Harry. (Others in meeting stare at them funny and shake their heads. Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay, and Kelsi seem confused as they sit down.)
Why don’t you tell me exactly what is going on.

Neville: Well bishop, Harry’s been making some really bad choices. He hasn’t been attending early morning seminary. Dobbie the House Elf has seen him pitching knuts, shaving Filch’s cat, and betting on Quidditch matches.

Bishop Dumbledoor (with a shocked look on his face): Not our Harry?


Hermione: It’s true bishop, just the other day Hagrid saw him down by the Quiditch field.

The lights and volume fade away from Bishop Dumbledoor’s office and begins to brighten in the scene for flashback number 1.

Begin Flashback #1 (Sunday Quiditch)
Scene: Harry and Draco Malfoy come skidding in on their broomstick nearly hitting poor old Hagrid. Whooping it up the whole way like they are having a great time.

Hagrid: Harry is that you? Ya nearly knocked me over, is something the matter? Should I run get some help?!?!

Harry: Nothing’s the matter. Draco and I were just out playing a little Quiditch.

A bludger ball comes flying through the scene.

Draco: (Yells over his shoulder) Crab, I thought I told you to pick those up. (Looking at Harry Arrogantly) I swear, it’s hard to find good help these days.

Hagrid: But Harry, I didn’t think you played Quiditch on the Sabbath? (Acts very surprised)

Harry: It’s alright Hagrid, after all the big match is tomorrow and I needed some extra time getting used to my new Firebolt Elite Series Broom. Thankfully my friend Draco was able to give me some pointers on it.

Hagrid: Draco is giving you pointers I see(as if it hasn’t dawned on him how crazy that sounds). DRACO IS GIVING YOU POINTERS??!?!?!?!(Hagrid says this shocked and louder than the first statement)
Don’t you think it would be better to attend your church meetings? After all, you are the Priest’s Quorum 1st Assistant.

(A bludger ball flies by and nails poor Hagrid)

Draco: (Yells to the back of the set) Good one Crab (laughing) Let’s get out of here Potter, I’ve got a terrible thirst.

Harry: Sorry Hagrid, I’ve gotta run. We’re headed down to the Three Broom Sticks, I’m buying drinks for Slitherin’s Quiditch team. See you later….

(As Harry Turns to kick off into the sky the set lights fade to black and fade up to Bishop Dumbledoor’s Office)

Bishop Dumbledoor: I see…. that is troubling. Playing Quiditch on the Sabbath, skipping church, and spending money down in Hogsmeade. (shakes head) My, my it sounds as if Harry feels he is trying to break free from what he knows to be good and true.

Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay, and Kelsi Begin Singing: “Breaking Free” from High School Musical.

Lyrics of “Breaking Free” From High School Musical

Chorus #1
Troy:
We’re breakin’ free
Gabriella:
We’re soarin’
Troy:
Flyin’
Both:
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
Troy:
If we’re trying
Both:
Yeah, we’re breaking free
Troy:
Oh, we’re breakin’ free
Gabriella:
Ohhhh

Bishop Dumbledoor: Please sit down! (With exasperation in his voice):
Troy and Gabriella sit down deflated and fustrated.

Neville: What is wrong with you two? Are you under some sort of spell?

Bishop Dumbledoor: Now, now Neville, Troy and Gabriella are just not accustomed to how we do things here at Hogwarts. What they are doing may seem perfectly normal at their old school.

Neville: I’m sorry bishop, sorry Troy, sorry Gabriella, but I’m really concerned about Harry.

Luna: Harry has been doing many strange things lately, he even said he doesn’t believe in Nargles or Moon Frogs anymore. (in her usual spacey voice looking off into the distance)

(Others Stare At Luna Like she is nuts also)

Ron Weasley: Bishop, as you know Harry is my best friend but just last Friday afternoon Seamas Finnigan saw Harry at a party……

Begin fade ou of lightst and Flashback #2:

Begin Flashback #2 (The Party)
(Techno Music Begins Playing as the lights come up. There’s a DJ pretending to mix music using strange kitchen utensils (such as a crank egg beater) on a turn table. Harry is standing next to Draco, Jenny Weasley is holding onto his arm. Harry is wearing ridiculously short robes as the lights come up. There’s a disco ball, lazer lights, and anything else we can afford or scrounge for props to make it look like dance club/party. The music goes softer as the characters start to talk. Professor Severus Snape (Dance Chaperone) walks in scowling like usual and goes up to Harry.

Snape: Mr. Potter…. I see you are involved with a better class of associates these days. Perhaps…there is hope for you yet. (Without waiting for a reply from Harry he walks to the back of the room where he stiffly stands against the wall scowling at the partyiers.)

Draco: Great fiesta Potter. You’ve really outdone yourself this time.

Ginny Weasley: You know my man. By the way Harry, I love your new robes, they are super cool!

(Up walks Harry’s friends Seamas Finnigan and Cho Chang)

Seamas: Hey Harry, how’s it going. Is something wrong with your robes?

Harry: These? I picked them up at Verycrummy and Filch on my last trip to Knockturn Alley. Technically they’re not approved for school use but, hey…. were not in school right! (Harry winks to Seamas)

Seamus: (Hesitantly) Yea uh, not in school….

Cho Chang: They look like they’ve been mangled by some sort of spell that backfired.

Harry: (cuts her off and turns attention to Seamus) Hope your not sore about me and Ginny being exclusive these days. I know you had your eye on her last term. (Ginny lays her head on Harry’s shoulder, Harry gives Seamus a wink)

Seamas: No worries, wasn’t looking for something exclusive at this point in my life. Prefer to do group dating until I’m back from my mission. I’m a little bit surprised Harry, I didn’t think you were into single dating?

Harry: That was the old me. I’m actually having fun now instead of worrying about “You Know Who” all the time (Harry makes the quotation marks in the air with his fingers). Have you heard the latest from the Screaming Banshees? It’s on my I Pod. I’ll have the DJ play it.

(Harry takes it over to the DJ who puts it on. Immediately a chorus of screeching banshees accompanied by a clanking noise begins playing. The lyrics are muffled and not able to be understood but there is a technobeat to it so it can be danced to)

Harry: So what do ya think? (Harry’s dancing the Cabage Patch to the music. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsXydHCcohI this link can be used to learn the Cabage Patch dance)

(Snape puts his hand on his head like he is getting a headache and rolls his eyes)

Seamus: All I can hear is screeching, foul language, and too much cow bell. (covers his ears and scrunches his face)

Cho Chang: (also covering her ears) Way too much cow bell!

Harry: Yea, it’s the uncensored cut. Draco knows a guy that hooked me up with a bootleg copy off the web. (Yells to the rest of the room) Let’s get this party going!
(Everyone Else Cheers as They Start Dancing)
(Everyone spreads out onto the dance floor, dancing to the music as the lights fade out. Snape continues glaring during the fade out)

Light Fades out of Flashback and back into Bishop Dumbledoors Office

Hermione: Harry was supposed to have been studying with Ron and I that night. He blew us off for that party.

Bishop Dumbledoor: Short robes, single dating, and inappropriate music pirated off the web? This certainly is serious.

Luna: (in her spacey voice)Pirates aren’t all bad you know. Captain Jack Sparrow I hear is quite the gentleman.

(Everyone stares at her funny again)

Ron: Well you don’t have to worry about him single dating Ginny anymore. Mom reminded her that she isn’t 16 yet and can’t be doing that. She promised she’d stop.

Neville: But I don’t think Harry will stop unless we do something?!?!?

Bishop Dumbledoor: I am very happy to see you all so concerned with one of your fellow members. I need your help to get Harry back on the strait and narrow. He who must not be named has a great desire to destroy Harry and if we do not help Harry see the need to change his ways, I fear we may lose him forever. It is not something I can do alone. You are all his friends. As he sees the genuine love, fellowship and concern that you have for him, I feel it will make all the difference. If you stay true to the correct path and be an example, perhaps it will help him to realize where true happiness is found. But remember, your greatest strength is in working with each other. We are all in this together.

Troy and Gabriella start twitching nervously as if they are beginning to lose control of their bodies. Everyone stares at them like they are going mad.

Bishop Dumbledoor: Do you two have something to say?

Finally unable to contain it any longer they stand up and start singing a new version of “We’re All In This Together” with lyrics changed to suit the current situation. The lights come up as well as the curtain dividing the office from the area where the flashback scenes took place. Everyone joins in singing to Harry who joins in singing with the rest of them. There should probably be some choreographed dance routine with all the folks.

Lyrics from “We’re All In This Together” from High School Musical (I’ve altered some lyrics already. Those I changed are in bold type.)

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets help someone
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets choose the right

Here and now its time for celebration
I finally figured it out (yeah yeah)
That all our friends have no limitations
That's what its all about(yeah yeah)

Everyone is special in the Lord’s own way
The Lord makes each one strong (He makes each one strong)
Were not the same
Were different in a good way
Together's where we belong

We're all in this together
Once we know
That we are
We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make eternity come true

Together, together, together everyone
Together, together, come on lets help someone
Together, were there for each other every time
Together together come on lets choose the right

We're all here
and speaking out with one voice
we're going to rock the house (YEAH YEAH!)
the party's on now everybody make some noise
come on scream and shout

We've arrived because we chose the right
Champions one and all

We're all in this together
Once we know
That we are
We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make eternity come true

We're all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We're all in this together
Once we see
There’s a chance
That we have
And we take it

Hogwarts sing along
Yeah, you really got it goin' on
Hogwarts in the house
Everybody say it now
Hogwarts everywhere
Wave your hands up in the air
That's the way we do it
Lets get to it
Time to show the world

We're all in this together
Once we know
That we are
We're all stars
And we see that
We're all in this together
And it shows
When we stand
Hand in hand
Make our dreams come true

We're all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We're all in this together
Once we see
Theres a chance
That we have
And we take it

Hogwarts everywhere
Wave your hands up in the air
That's the way we do it
Let's get to it
Come on everyone!

Heritage Foundation Article on Prop 8 Fallout On Mormons

This is a great article listing the systematic payback that some have taken against Mormons in regards to Proposition 8 in California which defined marriage once again as being between one man and one woman.
http://www.heritage.org/Research/Family/bg2328.cfm

Safety First!

I think Doc Raber is related to this guy!

The True Dangers of Video Game Violence

Now for something completely serious! Violent video games and your children are a dangerous combo. Please be sure you know what your kids are playing. Special thanks to Ray for providing a link to this PSA on violence in video games.

My Mini Life is Shutting Down

My Mini Life, the site that hosts my mini model of an LDS temple will be closing down on October 15th. I am sad to see this go. I had recieved some great comments from people about how impressed they were with the mini life temple model complete with links to videos about the temple and LDS beliefs. Of all my creations on My Mini Life the temple will be the one I miss the most. You can see the temple for a couple more weeks at http://www.myminilife.com/homes/3732103-lds-temple Just cut and past the URL into your browser. To see some of my other creations you can visit Bluntedgia, the community where my creations were located at http://www.myminilife.com/neighborhoods/15929-bluntedgia Not all of the homes at this URL are my creation but many are including the dive shop, ocean floor, gun shop, motorcycle shop, hunting preserve, and many others are. They will be missed.

Spring Time For Hitler

My apologies for not updating in a while but sometimes life gets me down and it's hard to come up with this Shiz then one day something catches my eye and away I go. That and I actually do have a job that pays that I should probably focus on occassionally.


Spring Time For Hitler

According to a recent Fox News Article, http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,556343,00.html?test=latestnews , Hitler may actually be alive! Well maybe that is a stretch but the skull that was believed to have been his that had been collected by the Soviets at the fall of Germany in World War II actually was the skull of a woman. This means that either Hitler was really a woman and the final solution was nothing more than PMS gone really, really, really wrong or the Soviets gave him a sex change before they forced him to commit suicide.

A third option is that Hitler really didn’t die and eventually took over the customer service line for Direct TV. Have you ever called those people at Direct TV and tried to get some help for your receiver? I was sitting at home trying to watch my favorite episode of “Pretty, White Teen Kids in Heat with Issues” on the CW and suddenly everything goes haywire. So I pick up the phone and call their “Help” line only to be run through a series of tests and restarts of my box that produce no results. Seriously, it would be easier to win a land war in Asia than to get the system to work using their guidelines. Finally, they tell me that they’ll have to send out a technician and I will have to pay for the repair even though the fracking dish was just installed last month.

I hung up on them and decide climb on the roof and actually look at the dish that was installed by one of Direct TVs ham fisted, high school drop outs. The “professional” who installed the dish decided to put the dish on a small beam that projects out of my house at the top of the roof. Of course the beam is smaller than the bracket he was required to use so he saved the company money by only using half the bolts to attach it and screw them in at weird angles to make it stay in place. And in place it did stay until the wind decided to blow more than a single, anemic leaf across the yard, at which time the dish moved a half inch.

Of course a call back to the evil empire of direct T.V. and a complaint on the installation got no results other than a threat to charge me if a technician came out. So back up on the roof I go. If I had a nickel for every time I have been up on that roof fixing the dish I could buy a fiddle and sing show tunes about tradition and being rich.

So I’m back on the roof with a cordless drill, some screws, and a cheesy Walkie Talkie my wife got for the emergency preparedness kit while the wife sits in the house watching the screen. I begin to move the dish in the direction I think the dish moved from and suddenly my wife is saying something mixed with the static of the Walkie Talkie that sounds like confirmation of a clear picture or I was picking up the kid down at McDonalds asking me if I wanted to Super Size my order. Either way, I took it as a sign and proceeded to drill in additional screws and other bits of metal to try and support the mounting plate for the dish so it wouldn’t move when the next micro hurricane hit our house or someone decided to slam the bathroom door too hard.

So I do believe that Hitler is in fact alive and working for direct T.V. I actually have some proof of this. A guy I know is seriously into World War II history. He used to dress up as a soldier and run around shooting guns with blanks at other guys in the woods as a hobby. He actually does speak German as well. In the major metropolitan area where he lives there is an area known as German Town where the German expatriates and immigrants hang out. There are restaurants and other businesses that cater to their needs. This guy spent a lot of time down there and frequented one shop that sold a lot of German war memorabilia. He told me they had great T-Shirts with Panzer Tanks and other cool German military vehicles on them that he just loved to add to his collection.

Well after a few trips he was picking through a box of medals and other military items at the counter. As he separated the fakes from the real stuff, the nice German lady at the counter “decided” that this guy was “safe” and it was time to introduce him to some of the “other” items the store carried. So she invites him to see these specialty items which include a special beer stein commemorating Hitler’s one hundredth birthday. He thinks it is a great item until he realizes that it is brand spanking new, not a collectible.

Maybe it is circumstantial evidence but perhaps Hitler really is a live and the beer stein was a party favor at his one hundredth birthday party. I’m just saying, it could happen since he was born in 1889 and his 100th would have been in 1989. With today’s technology he might be a cybernetic organism sent from the future to kill John Conner for all I know.

But the bigger question is what is a 121 year old man doing still working for Direct T.V.? Is he hiding from the Mossad? Does direct T.V. have a call center in Argentina? Does he know Hugo Boss Chavez of Venezuela? Is Hugo Boss Chavez actually the son of Hitler?

These are all questions that I would like answered. Of course if the Soviets gave Hitler that sex change then perhaps he is Hugo Boss Chavez’s mommy. If he is indeed Hugo’s mommy then I can see why he has been hiding out with that embarrassing Hitler mustache while wearing a dress.

Speaking of sex changes, I would also like to thank the brown shirts at the California Motor Vehicle Department (DMV) who gave me one so many years ago. Yes, that’s right, according to my driver’s license I am a woman. I tried to get them to fix it but the guys who are looking to get promoted to National Health Care Czar just couldn’t figure out how to do it. I also weigh exactly what I weighed when I was 16 even though I did fill in my correct weight the last time I got a new license.

When I was 16 and a Sophomore in High School, I passed my driver’s test and got home when I realized the error. It was printed right on my temporary license. I called and they told me to go back in and they would take care of it. So I drove the half hour into the office and then waited another half hour in line only to be told that I had to wait until I received my actual driver’s license in the mail before they could fix my problem.

Well the problem never got fixed which was fine considering it got me out of a ticket. I was on a date with my future wife when I got lit up by the cops as I pulled out of the parking lot of a shopping complex. You see, the lights in that parking lot are so bright you can get a tan from them. I didn’t turn on my headlights immediately so a cop pulled me over thinking I had been drinking. “Sure officer, I just was throwing back a tall one there in the checkout line of KMART.”

So I hand the officer my license and he asks me the obligatory, “Is all the information correct?” Being the smarty, punk kid that I am I told him no that it was not. He immediately tensed up. I’ve seen it on COPS a hundred times. It is at this point in the conversation that the cop usually finds out that the driver’s license actually belongs to the driver’s cousin, warrants are found to be outstanding, and after cuffing the guy and throwing him in the back of the police cruiser they open the trunk to find piles and piles of pirated Tae Bo workout videos.

He reaches his hand back to his gun and asks me what is incorrect. I tell him, “The folks at the Motor Vehicle Department decided to give me a sex change” in as strait a manner as I can without even blinking. I said this as if it was perfectly normal and reasonable. The cop looks at me, looks at my license, looks at me, looks at my license, makes a quick snickering sound, hands me my license, and tells me to, “Have a nice evening.”

Now I wouldn’t worry so much about this if the same caliber of people who run the motor vehicle department would also be running our national health care system. They may insist that their error at the DMV be corrected at my local health clinic which means cyber Hitler and I might be sharing beauty tips someday. I might be going off a little half cooked on this one, but maybe I should call for an investigation of the Russians and their conspiracy to give Hitler a sex change!

The True Cost of the Man Made Drought

You can't fix stupid.

One of the cardinal rules of being a lawyer or conducting an interview is to never ask questions you don't already know the answers to.

The Evils of Cover Bands, Karaoke, Air Guitar, and Your Mom's A Liar

So your sister brings home a guy who happens to be a musician. Cool, you think. I can appreciate a lad who plays an instrument. It's hard work to learn an instrument and so you figure at least the guy has some direction in life and a work ethic. So you are trying to make idle chit chat and you ask him, "So what's the name of your band?" He replies, "Have you heard of Poison?" To which your mind starts reeling. He looks about the right age and all. Could he really be a member of Poison even though he obviously isn't Brett Michaels? So you immediately ask, "You're in Poison?" To which he replies, "No, I'm in a Poison cover band." Now you have to make sure this loser stops dating your sister immediately.

Two of the worst inventions in life are cover bands and Karaoke machines. Now lets be honest. If you are good enough to get paid to play a gig as a cover band, why not be a real band instead of dressing up and trying to sing like the real guys. I know you loved the 80's and want to wear your hair long while crooning a power ballad but why not write something original and not wreck my memories of the original Poison version of "Every Rose Has It's Thorns".

I get it, you love the couple songs that whatever group you are covering did. So you and your buddies dressed up for a spoof at the high school talent show. But what was funny and entertaining for three minutes back in 1989 was never meant to be the basis for a career. Sure if you and your buds want to jam on Saturday night to songs from your favorite groups, then go for it. But becoming a cover band is just too much.

Take the Oak Ridge Boys and their classic "Elvira". Sure, we all liked singing along to the drunken ballad years ago about a woman whose name was just like the strange vampire chick who no one really understood but who the media told you was sexy. So you get your buds together and cover the song. Let's be honest, the Oak Ridge Boys would never have made it if they sounded like you did:



Your cover band smells like raw sewage on a hot day bud! Time to get a real job and stop your obsession with Poison. You are not Poison and you never will be. It's embarrassing for everyone who knows you to sit while you try and croon like the originals. Sure your mom loves you just like the moms of those rejects on America's Got Talent and American Idol who didn't love them enough to tell them that they were going to make complete donkeys out of themselves on national T.V. Mommy didn't want to hurt your feelings thus stunting your ultimate goal since you were five to become the first Astronaut on Mars even though your SAT scores were so low you couldn't even get into a diploma mill advertising in the back of Mad Magazine.

Yes, when your mom tells you that your musical talents are on par with the professional music set she is lying. Go get someone else to listen to your music such as someone who doesn't like you very much. It will save you from a wasted career in that cover band. Then when you show up dating my sister you'll be able to tell me about your job at the bank or something that won't get you beaten and left naked in a ditch.

And to the evil son of goat that invented the Karaoke machine, a pox on you and your house for seven generations for inventing that horrid device. Even my bishop has one of those infernal machines but thankfully he has never invited me over to listen to him belt out "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers. There is only two reasons to get on one of those machines. The first is that you are horribly drunk. Many karaoke machines are located in bars for good reason. Your drunk buddies think you sound great.



So your drunk friends love you but you stink buddy. Now please leave the bar and we will never speak of this again. But oh, that's not enough! You have to go buy one of those evil machines and use it when your friends come over (your sober friends) because you actually think you have talent. Dude, your mom lied to you again!

If karaoke isn't bad enough, the idiots that make a semi pro career out of air guitar should be shot. Sure, we all loved the 80's and 90's and yes we all played along to our favorite song in the privacy of our own room but just because your mom said it looked cool does not mean you get to make a career out of doing the air guitar. If you are going to spend hours of your time perfecting your routine for air guitar, maybe you should learn how to play a REAL guitar because you look like a loser now that you are 35++ years old and playing air guitar in a competition.



There really is only two reasons to do this. The first is that you are heavily intoxicated and would slur your words too much to do Karaoke or once again, your mom told you that you had a talent for this. Well you didn't so stop doing air guitar and do something that might actually get you a date and a shot at love on something other than a reality show on basic cable. You have been warned, your mother lied to you!

Music Videos, Literally

Ever since video killed the radio star, we have been blessed (or cursed) with a steady stream of nonesense on the television set to popular tunes. Nothing used to fustrate the heck out of me like watching a music video and trying to figure out what the heck it had to do with the lyrics of the song. I can only think of a handful of music videos that actually are related to the songs they were made for. Well I guess I wasn't the only one to notice this phenomena and some enterprising folks have put together "Music Videos Literally".

These enterprising folks took the original music videos and music but substituted new lyrics to actually go along with the video. The results are pretty funny. I've included some of my favorites below for your amusement.









There are others on Youtube but these are a few of my favorites. Some folks have tried to do these but the audio quality is poor or the singing voices with the new lyrics are way, way off. I hope you enjoyed Music Videos Literally.

The Elephant's Memory

Sometimes you come across an inspirational story that you just have to share. I read this one on the California Concealed Carry Forum and thought I would share it here. Enjoy!

An Elephant Never Forgets

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid butt against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.
__________________

Taking the wife on a cruise....

I'm not really big on cruise ships. I guess I've watched way to many movies where cruise ships were sunk by submarines. But I've found a cruise package that really appeals to me. All the activities are exactly what I am looking for. Here's the link if you are interested. http://maggiesfarm.anotherdotcom.com/archives/11581-Luxury-Pirate-Hunting-Cruise.html

Kamikaze Salesmen

You know that times must be tough when the cold calling salesman get really tricky in order to get a few minutes to sell their wares. Business owners and executives are bombarded daily with phone calls, personal visits, and junk mail from crafty salespeople wanting to get their business. If you have ever tried to get a hold of a business owner or executive for a legitimate reason but experienced having to run a gauntlet to get through, then you have probably fallen victim to the elaborate web of safeguards put into place to make sure the fly by night sales people don’t get through and take up the boss’s precious time. My personal friends have been surprised at how difficult it is to get me on the phone at my place of business. My call screeners are that good.

But the shady salespeople are not easily deterred. One of the oldest tricks in the book is to pretend they are the good buddy of the guy they are trying to call on the phone. They will use only first names and shorten them. Steven is Steve, William is Bill or Bob, David is Dave, etc. This is to trick the secretary into thinking it is one of the boss’s golf buddies looking to change their tee time. Good secretaries or administrative assistants learn quickly the names of the boss’s real friends and sniff out the imposters.

When the sales person does get through to the boss they then proceed to tell you the first bald face lie. They say they are going to be in your town meeting other business owners about whatever they are trying to sell and ask if they could meet with you also. I know this is a bald face lie because in our town there is our business, the volunteer fire station, the auto parts store, and a couple mini marts. You cannot even buy gasoline here. At this point I generally like to ask which businesses in our town they have appointments with. This is when they will usually give you some bull about their clients wanting to remain confidential.

The really bold ones though will research your competitors and say that they are going to be in your area meeting with companies X, Y, and Z about their product or service and that they would like to set up an appointment to also meet with you. At which point I will ask them who they are meeting with at Company X because I know the management at all three of those companies. Then they either pull the lie that they don’t have their complete list with them right then or the really brazen ones actually know the name of the owner and throw that out there. I like to tell them that I will call that person and see what they think about the product or service. This generally chases them away.

But for some the tough economic times have forced them into what I like to term as Kamikaze Sales Calls. Basically the sales person shows up claiming they have an appointment with the boss. The secretary checks the calendar and tells them that she does not show an appointment. The Kamikaze Sales Person tells the secretary that his head office set up the appointment. The next thing he says is also an outright lie but it gets your sympathy. They like to say that they drove from (insert popular town at least three hour drive away). This way you feel bad for them wasting a total of six hours driving on a wild goose chase. The secretary will usually call the boss in his office at this point and tell him about the guy. The boss will come out and also claim that no appointment was made. The sales guy then offers his sob story about traveling so far and ask if he could possibly have just five minutes to run through his abbreviated presentation so that he can at least report back to his boss that he didn’t completely waste the day.

Once again it is all a lie because that five minutes turns into about half an hour. They got their sales pitch in without an appointment and were able to bypass all the gatekeepers the boss set up to make sure that these sales people didn’t bother him all day. The really brazen liars will actually get their own sales manager on the phone during the five minute mini presentation. He will explain the alleged snafu with the appointment to the boss and then the sales manager will get in on the action of also trying to sell to the unsuspecting business owner or executive.

I think in most cases the Kamikaze Salesman would get away with this if the business only saw this scam every few years. But in these desperate times we have seen it happen twice in the last couple months. The second salesman was incensed that we were accusing her of not really having an appointment. Her false indignation was almost laughable. She then had the nerve to call back a few days later to follow up on her “meeting” with the boss. When she was told by the secretary that the meeting never happened she claimed she had the notes to prove that it did happen!

I know that being in sales is tough especially when they are trying to get in to see the decision maker but this sort of aggressive tactic does nothing to help them make a sale unless the person they are talking to is a complete idiot. Most people can sense when something isn’t right about the salesman’s story.

The real way to break them of the lie is to ask them for business references from your area, real people that you can contact and ask what their experience was. Usually they will say something about protecting their clients’ anonymity. Then ask them if they seriously are saying they have no clients in the area that are willing to be used as a reference. Realizing their mistake they quickly say that they will get the list faxed or emailed over. Surprise! The list never arrives.

So to all you sales people out there that insist on telling lies to get my business, realize that you will never get one penny from me. If you are willing to lie to get in the door, then I can only assume you are willing to lie to complete the sale and lie even after I am one of your clients.

Gun Control is Racist?

I had never heard this before but after watching this video I was convinced. I had learned a few years back how law abiding African Americans had utilized firearms to protect themselves during the civil rights era but this two part video opened my eyes.

Part 1:


Part 2:


I think next time someone starts pushing more gun control, I'll ask them how they feel about being a racist! The source for this video is this organization: http://www.jpfo.org/filegen-a-m/movieplay-ngn-swf.htm You can also view the video there without having to watch it in two parts

New Motivational Posters

Made these two motivational posters I thought I would share. Enjoy!

And just where do you think that Big Mac Came From?

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. If it's meat some animal had to die. That's just life. I was reminded of the old saying when it comes to bacon and eggs for breakfast the chicken participates but the pig is committed.

Up until about 50 years ago, nearly every American child either grew up on a farm or spent some time on one because they had a close relative who was a farmer. They understood where their food and fiber comes from. Now most people get their food at the grocery store and have no clue where it comes from. They demand laws to make sure the animals that make up their food supply are free range and "happy" out of some guilt complex because they are too chicken (pardon the pun) to spend a day actually figuring out where those chicken nuggets come from.

People eat meat and there is nothing wrong with that. I do find it hypocritical though when someone says they are against hunting and want it outlawed while scarfing down another extra beefy burrito.

I find it extra disconcerting during these perilous economic times. During the great depression, most folks still lived on farms and even though they had almost no money, they had food to eat. What happens now if the unemployement reaches the depression levels? Could folks bring themselves to take the life of an animal to feed their family or would they sit by and let them starve?

The Bishop Sold Me Out

Well this last Friday and Saturday was the annual Fathers and Sons Campout. It is an annual tradition that I thoroughly enjoy. The dads get to sit around the campfire while the boys run around making mischief.

Men need their time in the woods playing with fire, knives, and other dangerous things without a responsible woman hanging over their shoulder asking too many questions about safety and responsibility. Most of they younger boys actually de-evolve for the two days and go back to being feral much like the boy with the boomerang in the Mel Gibson movie The Road Warrior.

So a good bit of mischief is had by all. One of the unwritten rules of the Father and Sons is that what happens on the Father and Sons campout, stays on the the Father and Sons Campout. Hence my charge that the Bishop broke the circle of trust.

At one point on day one we decided to drive down to the beach. A couple father's and sons jumped in the back of my pickup. As the we were off the highway I didn't think much about it but I made sure to buckle my own boys up. I do want to add that one of the passengers happened to be the bishop and his own son who is almost two.

So we get all the way to the beach and we are getting out of the car. I asked my oldest son to get his brother out. Next thing I know the fathers and sons are scattering to the wind. The ranger showed up and decided to give me the fifth degree about having the people in the back of the truck. I'm looking around and thinking to myself, "What people, they've all fled while I take the heat." Thankfully he just let me off with a motivational speach, motivating me to not do it again under the threat of a ticket.

So I start to walk to where everyone else is at the beach and ask my oldest boy where his brother is. He gives me this dumb kid look that says, "Brother? I have a brother?" Great, so I quickly look around and determine he isn't there. In the back of my mind I suspect he didn't let his brother out of the car after all. A buddy joined me as we walked back less than 100 yards to the truck. I probably was only away from the vehicle for a minute or two.

I got to the truck and he's just sleeping away. No harm nor fuss. I scoop him up and lay him on my brother's jacket at the beach. Now I immediately ask the guys that we not speak of this again because this is one of those things that can get a dad in some hot water with mamma. Everyone seemed to agree and the circle of trust was formed. My friend who had accompanied me back to the car even commented that if word got out he somehow would get blamed by his wife too!

So all is well for the rest of the trip. No stitches required, no broken bones, lots of things burned in the fire, etc. I get home and the boys have had a great time. I had no concerns about my oldest boy spilling the beans because he was so caught up in the fun that he forgot about it as fast as it happened. The younger boy who was left in the car slept through the whole thing and besides, he is just under two so what is he going to say.

I decide that I will tell my wife in a couple of years when the boys are older. No need to tell her that the baby of the family was neglected and daddy almost got tazed by the state park ranger. But at church the next day I was a bit worried. Would the circle of trust be broken? Fortunately, everyone kept quiet. I was in the clear until.....

I got home from work on Monday and started getting the third degree from my wife about child neglect, CPS, going to jail, blah, blah, blah. I tuned out part of what she said out of habit but I could not believe that someone had broken the circle of trust!!! I immediately asked who broke the circle of trust and she would not tell. There was only one solution. I went to my two oldest girls and told them that the first person to tell would get a dollar. The oldest was slightly faster on the draw. It was the best dollar I ever spent. What they didn't realize is that I would have paid five bucks for the info.

Turns out the bishop told his wife who told my wife. Of course when my wife heard the story I was being grilled by the cop for the wreckless danger I put people in, nearly pepper spayed, my kids were in the back of the pickup in harms way, the bishop and his son were somehow left out of the back of the truck and just innocent observers, and I left my kid in the car a half mile away for ten minutes and was just lucky the cop didn't see me do it.

Now my wife has one more thing to remind me about for the rest of eternity. Thanks bishop. I thought you were supposed to help people. You will pay for this, I promise!!!!!

Security System

In these troubling times we often wonder how we can protect ourselves and our families from the evils of the world. While I am always a strong proponent of firearms and self defense, often we find ourselves in need of defense of a spiritual nature that only the Lord can provide. I was reminded of this the other night while attending a fireside with my teenage daughter. The speaker was a woman who is LDS and a former Miss California. She related a story of when she was young and was put into a position where someone wanted her to compromise her standards. She prayed for help and a way was found for her to maintain her standards.

This reminded me of when I was in college about 10 years ago. As a part of my quest for a degree I had to take two upper division electives in something unrelated to my major. The two electives had to be related to each other though. Originally I had wanted to take one of the several options on religion that were listed but due to budget cuts these had been cancelled. I also wanted to avoid any of the options regarding ethnic studies because in the state owned school I was in, these often turned into opportunities to say very vile things about people of other races, particularly whites.

Finally I settled on a set of classes. One was Adolescent Psychology. I had always enjoyed my general education psychology class and figured this one would just build on that. It was a pretty good class that I did enjoy quite a bit. The second class of the set that I took the following semester was Juvenile Delinquency. I figured this might not be too bad as it fit well with the previous class I had taken.

This turned out to be a very difficult class. I quickly learned that there was little difference between the crimes committed by some juveniles and some adults other than the ages of the perpetrators. Any horror that an adult was capable of, so was a juvenile. It was quite an eye opening experience and I quickly saw how good parenting makes such a big difference. I also learned why gang bangers are all kids, they are either dead by the time they reach adulthood or spending the rest of their lives in prison. Basically, the class became a study of how many modern day Gadiantons operate.

The instructor for the class had a PHD in criminology. She was tough as nails and had worked throughout the prison system for the state. She was a consultant for both state and federal prisons. The things she had seen were horrible. She had very high expectations for our performance in her classroom even though she knew most of us were not criminology majors. Her essay exams were particularly intense. In spite of the difficulty, I enjoyed the challenge and was doing quite well. Her comments on my reports and essays were very good and I felt confident I was doing well in the class.

When the final report was announced I could not believe what we were supposed to do. We were to watch a Hollywood movie that had as it's subject Juvenile Delinquency. Then we were to write a report on the movie describing how certain behaviors or scenes in the movie related to the several theories on delinquency that we had studied.

Unfortunately, most of the films that deal with this subject are rated R. They are horrible films about gangs such as Boyz in the Hood, Colors, etc. To make matters worse, when suggesting films to use she had told how a woman in one of her classes had used the Disney classic Pinocchio and done an excellent report. She then followed up this comment with a warning of how she did not want another report on Pinocchio again.

Immediately my heart sank. I did not want to compromise my standards. My spiritual defense and indeed the best defense we have is to keep our lives as clean as possible so that we can be receptive to the Spirit. I had been serving as a Stake Missionary at this time and relied heavily on the influence of the Spirit to do the calling.

I went home that day depressed. I expressed my concerns first with my wife who understood my frustration but could offer no solution. I knew that talking to the instructor would be pointless. She was as hard as flint when it came to this subject. She did not budge. I desperately did not want to compromise my standards and poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father for assistance. I had come to rely on my Heavenly Father throughout my college experience. I studied hard but prayed hard for the assistance I needed. I prayed at home, in my car, and even in the school library. I know it made all the difference.

I prayed several times over the next few weeks for a way. I pleaded for some way that I could fulfill the assignment without compromising my standards. All I could think about was how easy it would have been if Pinocchio had not been taken off the table. I grew sad thinking I might have no choice but to watch some vile film. I wondered if there was a way to get an edited version of one of the films that would meet the requirement.

One night as my wife and I were watching television a commercial came on. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was either for a musical that was playing in theater in the city, one that was appearing on television in movie form, or it was a commercial where a tune from one of these musicals was used to sell a product. I wasn't really paying attention but the distinct impression came to me at that moment to ask my wife about a musical I had never seen and one which I didn't even know the plot of.

I looked over at my wife and asked her, "What is West Side Story about?" Her eyes got big and she went on to describe gang fights between the Sharks and Jets, forbidden love, racial strife, etc. We had found the answer to my prayers through the inspiration of the Spirit.

We rented the movie and the report was written shortly thereafter. I received an A for that report and great comments from the instructor. The Lord had helped me find a way to maintain my standards but still fulfill the requirement. I still have a copy of that report somewhere at home. It is one of the few from college I kept a copy of. I value it not so much for the grade but for the tangible evidence it is to me that the Lord does hear and answer our prayers. He will help us in our spiritual defense, as long as we are willing to maintain that defense.

Adversity

I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. I was watching Band of Brothers on the History Channel. If you have never seen Band of Brothers it is a mini series that follows the story of an American Army unit in the 82 Airborne called Easy Company. It starts with their training and goes through the entire campaign in Europe. In between segments they have actual interviews from the guys that were really there. The characters names and the stories are all based on the real events. It is by far one of the best produced military movies I have ever seen. It makes Saving Private Ryan look like amature hour but doesn't splatter gallons of blood on the camera lens. Aside from Saints and Soldiers, it is the best WWII movie out there.

But back to my point. As I watched the struggles the soldiers endured, physical, mental and spiritual, I was amazed at how they pushed on. The soldier's story throughout history can be inspiring. Another soldier's story that has often inspired me is that of the last Nephite, Moroni. Moroni was forced to spend his last days watching what was left of his nation be destroyed while hiding for his life. He was alone and hunted by his enemies without rest. His words came forth in the latter days through the translation of his writings by Joseph Smith.

Another group that faced adversity was the pioneers who came out of Illinois. They were driven out because of their religion. Many died on route. I've heard that if you evenly spaced out the graves between Nauvoo, Ill. and Salt Lake City Utah that you would always be in sight of a grave on the entire route. They also suffered extremes of temperature, sickness, physical pain, and hardship but they did not falter.

In comparison, my troubles seem trivial. Shortly before having this epiphany, I had received a letter from a government agency. Seems a former, disgruntled employee had made several claims about our business. None of them were true but in the modern age, we are all guilty until proven innocent. I was upset about the false charges but particularly upset about the hours of work I would have to put in and all the evidence of our innocence that I would have to gather to send them to prove that the disgruntled employee was wrong. I was feeling sorry for myself and moaning about how I was being picked on. After my Band of Brothers epiphany though, I realized that my immediate trial was pretty trivial and would be worked out in the next week or so. It put the whole situation back into perspective.

As I faced other challenges later that week, that normally would have upset me quite a bit, I remembered the men of Easy Company in the forests of the Ardene, struggling in the cold of winter for our freedoms. I thought of the pioneers who fought to carve out a land where they could truly have religious freedom. Amazingly, my problems melted away and were replaced by resolve and determination to not submit, but to fight on as those who came before us did. Suddenly, a new day has dawned.

Because the Machines Won't Let You... Re-Education Camp

This is my vision of where the machines will be sending us in the future.



http://www.myminilife.com/homes/4490808-machine-reeducation-work-camp

Just cut and paste into your browser.

Because the Machines Won't Let You...

Because the Machines Won’t Let You……



I just spent half my morning trying to get something done that should have been simple. Basically I was trying to sell a couple of tractors to another tractor dealer. Normally this is a no brainer. I go into the computer, I tell it that this other dealer wants the machines, I enter the price we agreed on, I send the transaction, and then the dealer on the other end accepts the transaction. It works great, normally.

Except on Friday afternoon it did not work normally. For some reason it would not let me set the agreed upon price. It would automatically default to the dollar figure I still owed the manufacturer which was significantly less than the agreed price. Obviously I had made some payments on the equipment plus I had some other costs in the tractor such as shipping, final inspection, and assembly.

It would not work Friday and we all know that no one in a large corporation, even a tractor company, can be found on a Friday afternoon. So it didn’t happen on Friday.

Well, Monday morning came and I was in my office at 7am on the phone again. It was 9am back where the people who are supposed to help work so I made a phone call to them to solve the computer problem. They told me it wasn’t a computer problem but a problem with the people in department that handles the transactions. So then I called the people in the department that handle the transactions. They gave me the usual techno-babble which was completely worthless. So then I called the people that help me buy and sell this stuff at the main office for the manufacturer. No answer there to my phone call so I ended up leaving a voice mail which was never returned.

Then I emailed my sales manager for the company that makes the product. He was good and emailed me right back to tell me he had no idea how to fix the problem but gave me the name and number to contact someone who could fix it. I called that person and they had no idea what I was talking about so I print screened the pages from my monitor and faxed them over with an explanation, hand written notes, etc.

She called me back after receiving the fax because she still didn’t understand my problem but at least I could explain it to her over the phone and we were looking at the same thing. Now her response was that she did not know how to fix my problem so she would pass it up the chain. While waiting for a call back, once again, another guy I work with called another guy at yet another dealership who confirmed that the computer system would not do what I wanted it to do but he could not tell me why it couldn't do something that obviously it should be able to do.

A little while later I received a call from a nice sounding woman who told me our conversation was being recorded for “quality assurance purposes” which is a completely meaningless statement. There are simply not enough hard drives to record all the conversations companies have these days that they say are being recorded and frankly the quality gets worse and worse as each year goes by. This leads me to believe that nothing is being recorded expect perhaps funny prank calls they make when they are bored for upload later to YouTube.

Well this woman proceeds to tell me what I already know, that the computer system will not allow me to do what I need to do to sell these two tractors to another dealer who has them sold to another customer. I ask her why it will not allow me to do that. She explains that the computer is programmed that way because it is in the rules. “But why is there this rule that had to be programmed in?” I ask.

She of course has no idea but insists I cannot do it because the computer will not let me. I explain to her that if I cannot do it then the other dealer cannot make the sale and I won’t be in a position to order two new machines from her company to replace the two I sent to the other dealer. Her response, “I understand your frustration sir but the computer will not allow you to do that.”

“Do you realize that your computer is going to cost you the sale of more products?” I asked.

“Sir, I understand your frustration but we don’t program the system.” She replied.

“Ma'am, computers are here to work for us, we don’t work for them. They are supposed to make it easier to do our jobs not stand in the way or make it more difficult. The one thing in life I cannot stand is when we blame the computer for not being able to do something that is simple like this.” My frustration was clearly evident in my tone of voice.

“Well sir, I can pass this information along and perhaps they will make a change in the computer system in the future to allow this.”

“Well thank you. Please do pass that along because this is something important that needs to be changed to allow dealers to make sales.” I tried to hide my sarcasm here but it was tough.

I then thanked her for her time and we hung up. I know fully well that my request to have the information passed along would do nothing. In fact, the whole thing probably ended up in the garbage bin. I doubt if the woman I talked to even knew what the tractors looked like or had even seen one. Her cubicle in the big city probably didn’t even have a view of the window let alone a farm field.

At some point in time the machines took over our lives. I don’t remember when this actually happened but it had to be in the late 90s when I was in college because one of them ate my final thesis requiring me hours of labor to retype it.

Computers tell us what we can and cannot do. We work for them. I cannot tell how many times I’ve been told that something is impossible because the “computer” says no or is not working. My driver’s license says I’m a female. I couldn’t get it fixed because the computer wouldn’t let it get fixed. It still says I weigh 150lbs from when I was 16 years old even though I weigh closer to 220lbs these days. I filled out the paperwork to get it changed at the DMV but when my new driver’s license showed up I was still a buck fifty and a woman. The machines determined it so it must be so.

I got pulled over once for not turning on my lights fast enough at night. I was in a strip mall parking lot where the lights were so bright you could get a tan at midnight. The cop took my driver’s license and asked me if all the information was correct. I told him that it was not and he got concerned. You could see him tense up as if I was going to tell him that it was really my cousin’s license. I watch COPS and the cousin excuse is often used and generally followed by a beating with the night stick or writhing on the floor in pain from a Tazer shot.

The cop then asked me what was wrong with my license and I told him the DMV gave me a sex change. He looked at me then looked at my license. He then looked at me again, tried his best to suppress a snicker, handed me the license back, and told me to “Have a nice evening.” He knew the machines had me beat and took pity on my soul.

The driver’s license reminds me of the time I went to get a new Social Security card. My name is Jason but my new card said Jose with my last name and correct social security number. I never changed my name. I took it into the office and the first thing the person asks is, “Are you sure your name is Jason?” “Well err I don’t exactly remember....”

Yea, the machine struck once again and now I was Jose. They said they would get it fixed and send me a new one. I never got a new one but I found my original card and it did have the correct name on it. I’m still waiting for immigration to show up ready to deport a 150 pound woman named Jose. I hear Mexico is just lovely this time of year in spite of the Swine Flu.

My personal favorite is tech support machine problems especially when it involves the lie known as “trouble shooting”. I love calling in when the satellite for the T.V. isn’t working. For example, some of the channels I pay for every month suddenly stopped working. I called into tech support and they looked up my account in the “machine”. “Well sir, I show that you are signed up for the “Uber Package”. Now which channels are you not getting?”

I then list the channels yet again that are not working. They tell me I should be getting them and ask me if I am sure they are not working. Once again, I’m assumed to be lying because the machine says so. I feel like yelling into the phone, “You got me, I was just waiting a half hour listening to elevator music just to jerk your chain about my channels being out! Did you enjoy my little joke as much as I did?”

So then I go through a dozen different gyrations and still no channels. “Are you sure?” They ask again because the machine said that if we do X, Y, and Z it will fix the problem. “Yea, I’m pretty sure it’s not working still.”

Then in exasperation they tell me that someone will have to come out and take a look at it and that I will be charged X number of dollars for the service visit even after I insist that it has been like this on and off since they installed it and that I have called over and over about the problem. In frustration I hang up and go on the roof and find that the installer only put two bolts on the satellite mounting plate instead of four as required. Every time the wind comes up it shakes and I lose channels. I fixed the problem myself, a problem the machine insisted I didn’t have.

At some point we have to ask ourselves, “Will we be slaves to the machines?” Is it inevitable that they will take over? Will John Conner be the hope for the future and our battle against the machines? Will we be forced to fight in a post apocalyptic wasteland against the machines or is it already too late? Have we already lost the battle with the machines?