The Bishop Sold Me Out

Well this last Friday and Saturday was the annual Fathers and Sons Campout. It is an annual tradition that I thoroughly enjoy. The dads get to sit around the campfire while the boys run around making mischief.

Men need their time in the woods playing with fire, knives, and other dangerous things without a responsible woman hanging over their shoulder asking too many questions about safety and responsibility. Most of they younger boys actually de-evolve for the two days and go back to being feral much like the boy with the boomerang in the Mel Gibson movie The Road Warrior.

So a good bit of mischief is had by all. One of the unwritten rules of the Father and Sons is that what happens on the Father and Sons campout, stays on the the Father and Sons Campout. Hence my charge that the Bishop broke the circle of trust.

At one point on day one we decided to drive down to the beach. A couple father's and sons jumped in the back of my pickup. As the we were off the highway I didn't think much about it but I made sure to buckle my own boys up. I do want to add that one of the passengers happened to be the bishop and his own son who is almost two.

So we get all the way to the beach and we are getting out of the car. I asked my oldest son to get his brother out. Next thing I know the fathers and sons are scattering to the wind. The ranger showed up and decided to give me the fifth degree about having the people in the back of the truck. I'm looking around and thinking to myself, "What people, they've all fled while I take the heat." Thankfully he just let me off with a motivational speach, motivating me to not do it again under the threat of a ticket.

So I start to walk to where everyone else is at the beach and ask my oldest boy where his brother is. He gives me this dumb kid look that says, "Brother? I have a brother?" Great, so I quickly look around and determine he isn't there. In the back of my mind I suspect he didn't let his brother out of the car after all. A buddy joined me as we walked back less than 100 yards to the truck. I probably was only away from the vehicle for a minute or two.

I got to the truck and he's just sleeping away. No harm nor fuss. I scoop him up and lay him on my brother's jacket at the beach. Now I immediately ask the guys that we not speak of this again because this is one of those things that can get a dad in some hot water with mamma. Everyone seemed to agree and the circle of trust was formed. My friend who had accompanied me back to the car even commented that if word got out he somehow would get blamed by his wife too!

So all is well for the rest of the trip. No stitches required, no broken bones, lots of things burned in the fire, etc. I get home and the boys have had a great time. I had no concerns about my oldest boy spilling the beans because he was so caught up in the fun that he forgot about it as fast as it happened. The younger boy who was left in the car slept through the whole thing and besides, he is just under two so what is he going to say.

I decide that I will tell my wife in a couple of years when the boys are older. No need to tell her that the baby of the family was neglected and daddy almost got tazed by the state park ranger. But at church the next day I was a bit worried. Would the circle of trust be broken? Fortunately, everyone kept quiet. I was in the clear until.....

I got home from work on Monday and started getting the third degree from my wife about child neglect, CPS, going to jail, blah, blah, blah. I tuned out part of what she said out of habit but I could not believe that someone had broken the circle of trust!!! I immediately asked who broke the circle of trust and she would not tell. There was only one solution. I went to my two oldest girls and told them that the first person to tell would get a dollar. The oldest was slightly faster on the draw. It was the best dollar I ever spent. What they didn't realize is that I would have paid five bucks for the info.

Turns out the bishop told his wife who told my wife. Of course when my wife heard the story I was being grilled by the cop for the wreckless danger I put people in, nearly pepper spayed, my kids were in the back of the pickup in harms way, the bishop and his son were somehow left out of the back of the truck and just innocent observers, and I left my kid in the car a half mile away for ten minutes and was just lucky the cop didn't see me do it.

Now my wife has one more thing to remind me about for the rest of eternity. Thanks bishop. I thought you were supposed to help people. You will pay for this, I promise!!!!!